Mission: 007 Wedding at Cowles Conservatory

I JUDO-CHOPPED THE MINISTER AT A WEDDING THIS WEEKEND, then forced the bride away from the ceremony at gunpoint. Really.

Unfortunately, my plan was foiled by James Bond.

You see, the bride and groom joined in holy matrimony this Halloween in Cowles Conservatory at the Walker Art Center.


It's exactly the kind of place I would expect 007 to get married.

It was an excellent place to be married, if you're into that kind of thing, as the weather was quite chilly despite the sunny sky. The greenhouse setting provided a tropical warmth that was much appreciated by the attending guests -- of whom included mysterious figures in trench coats and worldly characters in '60s attire. And a SMERSH henchman (aka Max 'Bunny' Sparber) who ended up performing the ceremony for Jon (James Bond) and Trixi (Tracy Di Vincenzo) Hunter.

I was there under the guise of guest, but, as mentioned earlier I had other plans.


I've had to find new ways to accessorize my disguises, so I sewed black sequins on to my eyepatch to match my sequined jumpsuit for the special day.

There will be another special day, too, Miss Di Vincenzo -- Mrs. Bond now, I suppose. Yes, there will be another special day, Mrs. Bond, when we shall meet again.


The scar is from a previous heist at The Walker Art Center -- you may remember an Yves Klein gone missing. Well, I didn't have anything to do with that.